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On Tuesday, May 18th, Katie Elzer-Peters has coordinated a GIANT ’Non-Book-Non-Garden-Blog-Tour’ to honor the release of her friend’s new book Claire de Lune, by Christine Johnson. This book is geared towards the young-adult market and is filled with scary werewolves, teen romance, spooky forests and lots of hormones….
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Take a break from gardening today and be a part of this fun event by reading what other non-book related blogs are doing to commemorate the release of werewolves into bookstores near you!
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The All New – 2010 Chicken’s Werewolf Survival Guide
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Okay – you knew it was bound to happen. Despite your best laid plans, a werewolf snuck into your beautiful little garden and you can’t get it to leave. Now what?
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First off – you need to know a little about these garden pests. Sluggo isn’t going to be very effective. Either will coyote-urine or gopher traps. There’s not much you can do except one thing: TRY TO AVOID BEING EATEN.
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This is especially hard if you’re a chicken.
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Everyone knows werewolves adore the taste of chickens – actually preferring them to humans. A werewolf’s stomach is quite small so they prefer eating lots of small meals instead of a few large ones (a healthy diet tip we can ALL benefit from!).
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Anyway – back to the chickens. If you happen to BE a chicken, here’s what and what NOT to do.
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Do NOT try and hide in a dark maroon plant if you’re WHITE. Bad move, Chicken.
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Do NOT travel alone – use the buddy system at all times.
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WAKE UP LADIES!
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Now is NOT the time to take a nap!
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If you find yourself alone and you spot a werewolf….stop….look….and HIDE. But not just your head – your whole body!
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Werewolves aren’t the brightest bulb in the chandelier so if you’re spotted by one and you happen to be near a statue, FREEZE and mimic it.
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Whether it’s a chicken statue…..
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A Frog statue…… Or a little cement bird, do whatever you can to BLEND IN.
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And if, by chance, you’re caught out in the open – don’t act cocky (no pun intended) and TAUNT THE WEREWOLF with a chicken dance.
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Instead, run to the nearest and largest living creature you can find.
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Whether it’s a dog…
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Or whether it’s a Grandpa….the main thing is to pal around with someone larger & stronger than yourself (another good lesson we could all benefit from!)
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At the end of the day, you must remember that all is not as it seems. Yes, there IS a landscape larger than the one you see….so beware!
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{ 29 comments… read them below or add one }
I’d have to check with you here. Which is not something I typically do! I enjoy reading a post that will make people think. Also, thanks for allowing me to speak my mind!
That was so fantastic!! thank you for sharing it!!
I love this! The chickens were so cute — and so was “grandpa”. I’m sure he enjoyed it
OMG, that was hilarious. I’ll be sure to pass this survival guide onto our young chicks. They already seem to do the ‘freeze like a statue’ maneuver quite well!
I keep coming back to your post and reading it. I just LOVE it
And the pics! LOLOLOLOL!
Absolutely adorable! I can’t wait to send it my niece who raises chickens! Christine was the maid of honor in our son’s wedding – or was it matron of honor? Go Christine!
i laughed so hard i knocked my orange juice over on my laptop. true story! great post you.
OH MY WORD… totally a cute attack on this blog entry! I love your chickens. I have wanted to raise some here with the bunnies. Maybe next year when the landscaping is complete around the bunny barn. I will be asking you questions about what to do at that time!;-) It is easy to raise them right? I think the biggest chore will be the winter time in my neck of the woods. They will have to be kept in a warm place because it gets pretty darn cold in Ohio.
Love your shares – happy cluck cluck gardening!
Bren – they’re definitely on the easier spectrum of pets, but they still need daily attention and affection! In the Winter I use a heat-lamp which is on 24/7 for them. You’d definitely want that in Ohio!
brilliantly done … on all counts (katie’s idea and rebecca’s execution).
xoxo
Thanks Patty – I had so much fun writing this one!
You ARE “the brightest bulb in the chandelier”!
Thank you all so much – I’m so glad it made you laugh today! Thanks for your support! Mwah!
That’s cute.
OMG- LOVE IT! They are such little super stars!
Hey Sweetie!
That post had me giggling through the entire thing. So cute and so funny.
What a fun idea for book promotion. Katie was smart to tap you as one of the contributors.
Way to go!
That’s hilarious! And kudos to the stunt chickens for demonstrating their werewolf-avoidance techniques.
LOLOLOL! You are priceless, that is all I can say. LOL ‘Bad move, Chicken!’ Kudos to Katie for thinking waaaay out of the coop on this one! I’m going to be sniggering about this ALL day! xoxo
So very clever & cute! I love the pictures. It made a good start to my morning.
Ooooh…it was so mysterious. Just a hint of werewolf. Now you’ve got me a bit scared to go out into the back yard! Wait! What was that noise?
I hope your little chickies took your lesson to heart, Rebecca. It’s a big, scary world out there and werewolves come in many forms.
This was a very fun morning read. I just love your natural sense of humor. Keep it up!
I am rolling on the floor, laughing my patooty off! What a cute and imaginative post with absolutely to-die-for pictures. This is a gem of a post! But rolling off your pen and your brain, I am not surprised!
Chickens have become such a fashionable garden accessory, we forget there’s a dark side, and this is just the kind of practical advice that helps them live a safe and happy life.
I predict the 2010 Chicken’s Werewolf Survival Guide will shoot to the top of the best seller lists.
This is BY FAR the FUNNIEST thing I’ve ever read. And the pictures are hysterical.
Thanks for the laugh this morning.
Angela
What a cute post Rebecca! That Katie is a clever gal.
How much did you pay the chickens to pose for this photo shoot? I thought about doing something similar in my post about keeping werewolves out of the garden, but I couldn’t afford the birds’ hazard pay.
Oh Rebecca! That is the most adorable post I’ve ever read! Can I describe a post on a landscape site as adorable when it’s talking about werewolves??
This is beyond adorable. BEYOND. I *love* it.
Oh, I LOVE THIS POST! Especially all of the cute chicken pictures. Totally made me smile, and I’ll remember not to freeze like a statue next to a, uh, tree, if I see a werewolf coming!
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